Thursday, May 27, 2010

You May Be From Chicago If . . .

This was sent to me by a colleague. I'm not from Chicago, but I've been there often enough and live close enough to get most of the jokes. Some of them are a real hoot:

1. The 'living room' is called the 'front room'.

2. You don't pronounce the 's' at the end of Illinois . And, you become irate at
people who do.

3. You measure distance in minutes (especially 'from the city'). And you swear
everything is pretty much 1/2 hour away.

4. You have no problem spelling or pronouncing ' Des Plaines '.

5. You go to visit friends, or family, down south and laugh when they complain about
the traffic.

6. You understand that no person from Chicago can be a Cub fan AND a White Sox fan.

7. It's 'Kitty corner' not 'Katty corner'.

8. You know the difference between The Loop and Downtown

9. You eat your pizza in squares, not triangles, and you never refer to it as 'pie'.

10. You own celery salt.

11. You understand that the primary is the official local election.

12. You have drunk green beer on St. Paddy's Day.

13. Stores don't have sacks, they have bags.

14. You end your sentences with an unnecessary preposition. Example: 'Where's my
coat at?' or 'Can I go with?' My English teacher had fits with this one.

15. Your idea of a great tenderloin is when the meat is twice as big as the bun,
'everything' is on it and a slice of dill pickle is on the side.

16. You carry jumper cables in your car.

17. You drink 'pop', not soda.

18. You understand that I-290, I-90, I-94, and I-294 are all different roads.

19. You know the names of the interstates: Stevenson, Kennedy, Eisenhower, Dan Ryan,
and the Eden's.

20. You call the interstates 'expressways'.

21. You refer to anything South of I-80 as 'Southern or Central Illinois '.

22. You refer to Lake Michigan as 'The Lake '.

23. You refer to Chicago as 'The City'.

24. 'The Super Bowl' refers to one specific game in January 1986.

25. You have two favorite football teams: The Bears, and anyone who beats the Packers.

26. You buy the 'Trib', not the 'Tribune' or the 'Times', not the 'Sun Times'.

27. You know that despite being on the lake, there is no such place as the Waterfront.

28. You think 45 degrees is great weather to wash your car.

29. You picnic or ride your bike in the 'forest preserve'.

30. You cried when Bozo was canceled on WGN.

31. You know what goes on a Chicago style hot dog.

32. You know what Chicago Style Pizza REALLY is.

33. You know why they call Chicago 'The Windy City'.

34. You understand what 'lake-effect' means.

35. You know the difference between Amtrak and Metra, and know which station they
end up at.

37. You have ridden the 'L'.

38. You think your next door neighbor is a cousin to Tony Soprano.

39. You can distinguish between the following area codes: 847, 630, 773, 708, 312, &

40. You have, at some time in your life, used your furniture...or a friend's body,
to guard your parking spot in winter.

41. You respond to the question 'Where are you from?' with a 'side'.
Example: 'Westside,' 'Southside or 'North Side.

42. You know the phone number to 'Empire Carpet'!

43. You know what a 'garache key' is!


lee n. field said...

I find "downstate" as a designation for everything outside "Chicagometropolitanarea" galling.

Think Hizzoner will completely loose it on camera, when McDonald vs. Chicago comes down?

Steve and Linda said...

Great list Joel. You forgot one though..

You may be from Chicago if...

"You pronounce the word, "wash" as "warsh". =)