Wednesday, July 18, 2018

It's Just Another Day

It's been a while since I've offered up one of the deliciously macabre real-life events that crop up with me semi-regularly. Tonight earns more than the usual jaundiced guffaw, so I offer it up for your dining and dancing pleasure. 
The tractor broke down again not long ago and is awaiting repairs this weekend, but in the meantime the yard needs mowing. Here in Red Oak's swamp, it grows about an inch an hour so you can't let it go too long. So, I've been chipping away at it with a push mower. You see, when I first bought this 3/4 acre spread 20 years ago, I mowed with a push mower the first couple of years. Younger then and had more pep. But I got the tractor, and that's what I've used since. Until the breakdown. 
I've discovered that 20 years does take a toll, as did the stress of the past few years with my mother's final decline. In short, I'm out of shape. So I worked my way up slowly, mowing a quarter of the yard at a time. But tonight, I thought I just might be able to mow the front half and get it done. No . . .too tired after work and had to stop after finishing the back quarter and part of the front. Decided to finish tomorrow and headed inside - wringing wet - to take a shower and have supper. I have two bathrooms - one was set up for my mother and stepfather and the other one for me. I was feeling a bit lightheaded, so I decided to use Momma's shower with the seat in it - something I've never done. 
So, into the shower I go, and after finishing my upper torso, sat down on the built-in seat to finish the rest of me. Then I go to get up, and I slid right off the seat, falling on the floor right on my tailbone, and ramming my little toe into the shower door. I can't remember exactly what I said, and that might be a good thing. Take extra steps for safety, and in doing so nearly kill myself. I should publish this in Reader's Digest, and rip off Thurber, "My World and Welcome to It." 
I can't wait to get the tractor back when the shop gets it done sometime this summer. I fully expect the blades to frisbee off the bottom, sawing one of the trees down at the right angle to hit the house.

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